Memphis, Oh Memphis
There are players who I’ve always thought were more ritz than substance. Kinda like a Subaru Levorg. Beastly looks, but the aggression of a kitten. I don’t think I was the only one under this impression after Memphis’ (formerly known as Memphis Depay) underwhelming spell with Manchester United. Old Trafford may have thought it was in for the second strike of that Ruud Van Nistelrooy lightning after Memphis’ golden boot heroics with PSV Eindhoven the previous season. He even had the cojones to demand the iconic 7 jersey that graced the backs of Eric Cantona, David Beckham and Cristiano Ronaldo. But his one and a half years in England were all bluster and no substance. Even his boss termed his debut performance needlessly overzealous. Even the gangly, much-maligned Marouane Fellaini offered United far better value.
Remember KPB?
Squint a little and you will see shadows of another limelight-loving footballer emerging around Memphis. Kevin-Prince Boateng, remember him who played alongside Lionel Messi at some point, and scored that sick Ronaldo chop goal for AC Milan in the Champions League- against Barcelona? The guy who allegedly confessed to having his football powers sapped every once in a while by his Amazon warrior of a girlfriend? Compared to the eccentric half-Ghanaian, half-German striker, Memphis can be considered a choir boy. But am I wrong to lump them together as gifted controversy magnets whose careers petered out ingloriously after touching dizzying heights? (Incidentally, Memphis’ dad was also from Ghana.)
A Bad Bet
When Manchester United shelled out £30 million for the then 21 year-old Memphis, you could have bet your ancestral land on him replicating Van Nistelrooy’s record-breaking Red Devils stint. Besides his 22-goal Eredivisie Golden Boot, Memphis would have fellow Dutchman Louis Van Gaal as a manager. But you’d have lost and earned your ancestors’ vilest curses. Two months after his debut, Memphis was consigned to life as a sub. Man U couldn’t wait for his second season to end to get his behind out the dressing room. Like Antoine Griezmann, Memphis played for Barcelona and Atlético Madrid. But can we agree his time in Spain was thoroughly forgettable? Injuries played a part, but by the time Barça was jettisoning him and his calves, it was clear he was well beyond his prime.
French Revival
Ending the Memphis story here would be criminal. His club career cannot be painted as a total failure. We can add a stellar Ligue 1 spell to his sparkling PSV resume. A spell that ended on a 20-goal high with a Champions League semi-finals appearance to boot (though one Mousa Démbélé was the hero in Lyon’s quarter-finals upset against Manchester City). Memphis’ French revival prompted the Blaugrana bigwigs to offer him a two-year deal. And his first season at the Camp Nou was decent value for a free transfer. 12 goals in 20 starts made him Barcelona’s top scorer in the 2020/21 season. Any season ended below Real Madrid on the La Liga standings brings gloom to Catalunya, but Memphis was the silver lining in that dark cloud.
Memphis the Redeemer
We haven’t even touched Memphis’ mammoth international career. No other Dutch forward, not the aforementioned Van Nistelrooy, not Robin Van Persie, not even the great Marco Van Basten (there’s some homework for you Gen Z reader) has scored as many goals for Oranje as him. Don’t let his dismal 2026 World Cup fool you. Let’s also delve into his brave move to São Paulo two years ago. How many European football stars have journeyed to Brazil to ply their trade, not to take pictures at the Christ the Redeemer statue or savor the Samba nightlife? Oh yeah, Clarence Seedorf did join Botafogo before he hung his boots. But he wasn’t signing up to a legendary Série A juggernaut sinking into relegation. Memphis nonchalantly did, and more than played his part in keeping Timão up. A few months later, the Dutch attacker laid on the assist for the goal that secured Corinthians their first title in six years. He went on to prove himself a clutch finisher, bagging critical goals on the way to Copa do Brasil and Supercopa do Brasil victories.
You would expect the Corinthians hierarchy to worship the very ground Memphis walks on after helping them fill their trophy cabinets in such a short spell. But no, they unceremoniously booted him out of the club, prompting the viral X rant from the disgruntled striker. Memphis claimed the Corinthians honchos led him on, promising him an extension of his deal, only to terminate the contract altogether. Could it be that ‘The Almighty’ São Paulo club is too broke to pay the millions of dollars they owe him in wages and bonuses, or are they trying to pull a fast one?
Respect the Name
I think they should pay him his dues and put some respek on his name. And, his English Premier League and Atlético Madrid bleeps notwithstanding, football should give Memphis his flowers, while he can still smell them. Few have, or could have, achieved what he has, dealing with the troubled upbringing, the off-field slander and injury setbacks he has had to. He may never have made the Ballon d’Or shortlist or have a Champions League medal. But how many players today have that maverick quality to dribble defences open or smash in free kicks for fun?
